Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Wed 28 May 2008 21:10 Post subject: Re: Do Black Women Like White Men
Famu wrote:
Whenever I hear people talk like Powell I wonder if they have something against black women who voice preference.
I'm not sure what prompted this response myself. By looking at Monica's children, one might guess that their father is darker than she is - so if she was looking for a way to have "lighter" babies with "good hair," while pleading "not guilty" to miscegenation, I'm sure she wouldn't have had the children that she has.
However, I think that if a black woman wanted that, that she'd have no problem having children with a white man - in fact, I know a few white men who are victims of this, and these suckers are now paying child support. Funny thing is, many of these men don't even know it.
When the child is a boy, it's plainly obvious. How many times have you been to the mall, you see a black woman with a mixed son, and his hair is just growing everywhere - messy as hell, because his mother doesn't want to get it cut? She'd rather show off the "quality" of her son's hair than to make it have a half-way neat appearance (personally, I'd love to smack every woman I see doing this.... err, I mean, have my wife do it).
I noticed that this is rarely the case when you see a white woman with a mixed son, however.
When the child is a boy, it's plainly obvious. How many times have you been to the mall, you see a black woman with a mixed son, and his hair is just growing everywhere - messy as hell, because his mother doesn't want to get it cut? She'd rather show off the "quality" of her son's hair than to make it have a half-way neat appearance (personally, I'd love to smack every woman I see doing this.... err, I mean, have my wife do it).
I noticed that this is rarely the case when you see a white woman with a mixed son, however.
I've actually seen it both ways, actually, with enough frequency to want to take everyone aside and ask them to comb the child's hair. My aunt used to leave her daughter's hair wild like that, but now it's braided down. Her son has straight hair, so it's not really that big of an issue.
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Wed 28 May 2008 22:01 Post subject:
Famu wrote:
I've actually seen it both ways, actually, with enough frequency to want to take everyone aside and ask them to comb the child's hair. My aunt used to leave her daughter's hair wild like that, but now it's braided down. Her son has straight hair, so it's not really that big of an issue.
Yeah, but the very few cases where I've seen this with white mothers of mixed sons, are when the white mothers are "wigger" as hell, and are "hip" to how "cool" it is to have that "in between" hair. Other than that, their son's hair is cut.
I've actually seen it both ways, actually, with enough frequency to want to take everyone aside and ask them to comb the child's hair. My aunt used to leave her daughter's hair wild like that, but now it's braided down. Her son has straight hair, so it's not really that big of an issue.
Yeah, but the very few cases where I've seen this with white mothers of mixed sons, are when the white mothers are "wigger" as hell, and are "hip" to how "cool" it is to have that "in between" hair. Other than that, their son's hair is cut.
I've usually seen it completely opposite! Like, the liberal white moms at my campus always have their kids' hair out (and natural) while some other white moms that I've seen walking around that aren't from the campus (for example, a young white Mom at the mall) will have her kid's hair in cornrows or something.
I don't really see a difference between girls, though. And this is just my personal experience.
When the child is a boy, it's plainly obvious. How many times have you been to the mall, you see a black woman with a mixed son, and his hair is just growing everywhere - messy as hell, because his mother doesn't want to get it cut? She'd rather show off the "quality" of her son's hair than to make it have a half-way neat appearance (personally, I'd love to smack every woman I see doing this.... err, I mean, have my wife do it).
I noticed that this is rarely the case when you see a white woman with a mixed son, however.
I've actually seen it both ways, actually, with enough frequency to want to take everyone aside and ask them to comb the child's hair. My aunt used to leave her daughter's hair wild like that, but now it's braided down. Her son has straight hair, so it's not really that big of an issue.
I've seen it both ways too
But it depends on what culture the women are from. A lot of black women are going to make the child weither biracial or mixed look neat. The kids are going to be made up black biracial or mixed.
I've encountered more white mothers who's kids hair you can tell she doesn't know what to do with it. I know one guy who took in his nephew after the father passed away early on in the kids life because the mother(white) thought it would be harder to care for him, and it was funny that alot of it revolved around hair. He had kinky hair, his sister had wavy hair. She kept the girl gave away the boy.
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Wed 28 May 2008 23:42 Post subject:
gemini072 wrote:
I've seen it both ways too
But it depends on what culture the women are from. A lot of black women are going to make the child weither biracial or mixed look neat. The kids are going to be made up black biracial or mixed.
I've encountered more white mothers who's kids hair you can tell she doesn't know what to do with it. I know one guy who took in his nephew after the father passed away early on in the kids life because the mother(white) thought it would be harder to care for him, and it was funny that alot of it revolved around hair. He had kinky hair, his sister had wavy hair. She kept the girl gave away the boy.
But you're talking about a situation where the parent doesn't know what to do with the hair. I'm actually talking about a situation where black mothers INTENTIONALLY let their biracial son's hair grow out, for the sole purpose of showing it off.
But it depends on what culture the women are from. A lot of black women are going to make the child weither biracial or mixed look neat. The kids are going to be made up black biracial or mixed.
I've encountered more white mothers who's kids hair you can tell she doesn't know what to do with it. I know one guy who took in his nephew after the father passed away early on in the kids life because the mother(white) thought it would be harder to care for him, and it was funny that alot of it revolved around hair. He had kinky hair, his sister had wavy hair. She kept the girl gave away the boy.
But you're talking about a situation where the parent doesn't know what to do with the hair. I'm actually talking about a situation where black mothers INTENTIONALLY let their biracial son's hair grow out, for the sole purpose of showing it off.
Right, a part of what I was saying is that in most cases I saw-know o,f the black mother made sure the kids hair was done.
Most of the times I noticed the black mother letting the kids hair grow wild they lived in predominate white neighborhoods. Almost like validating themselves for acceptance. Most of the mothers I know like this fall under the urban boho label. I know a few particular ones.
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Thu 29 May 2008 03:58 Post subject:
I don't know what the deal is with this... these women think it's cute, when it's really not. Probably because no one says anything... worse yet, their girlfriends are complimenting their sons' "good" hair, which only encourages them to keep letting their sons' hair grow.
Yes, they may comb their son's hair, or make attempts at caring for it, but it eventually grows to the point of unmanagability - where trying to do anything with that hair is like polishing a turd.
I think of Richie, from Family Matters, and his hair is a perfect example of what I'm seeing to this day.
I don't know what the deal is with this... these women think it's cute, when it's really not. Probably because no one says anything... worse yet, their girlfriends are complimenting their sons' "good" hair, which only encourages them to keep letting their sons' hair grow.
Yes, they may comb their son's hair, or make attempts at caring for it, but it eventually grows to the point of unmanagability - where trying to do anything with that hair is like polishing a turd.
I think of Richie, from Family Matters, and his hair is a perfect example of what I'm seeing to this day.
lol, his hair looked good though, it was curly and styled. He actually wore his hair like that 1st because he wanted to resemble his fathe who wore his hair the same (Bryton McClure is multigenerational mixed) and Richie was also a big fan of Michael Jackson and would do dance performances from Michael.)
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Thu 29 May 2008 15:58 Post subject:
gemini072 wrote:
lol, his hair looked good though, it was curly and styled. He actually wore his hair like that 1st because he wanted to resemble his fathe who wore his hair the same (Bryton McClure is multigenerational mixed) and Richie was also a big fan of Michael Jackson and would do dance performances from Michael.)
What? You mean Micheal got to this kid too? Noooo!!! (Didn't know that.)
I think that in the early 90's, when this show was popular, when the mullet wasn't just for rednecks and Mexican immigrant workers, and the last remnants of the gericurl were going away, I think that the fashion of the day might have been a good excuse for mothers who kept their kids' hair like that. That excuse, however, is no longer there.
As a pre-emptive measure, because I can hear anonymouse's footsteps headed this direction and I know what she's going to say, I can tell you that I have ways of finding out the reason behind many black mothers who keep their son's hair like that.
Interestingly enough, many of these mothers think that there's nothing wrong with letting it grow for the sole purpose of showing it off - this is made obvious, because they'll actually tell you that that's why. My wife has a friend who does it, I even once had a coworker - a white male, who had a mulatto son that was visiting him. He took his son to get a haircut (because of the way the mother was keeping it), and I remember him getting into a shouting match with his son's mother over the phone at work over this!
I've even used sneaky methods for this... for example, while I was single, I would approach these women, as if I was interested in them, and leak it right out.
And now that I think about it, there are ways to tell with girls as well. If the mother doesn't get her daughter's hair permed or relaxed when she should*, and styles it as is, this is showing off as well.
*Granted, no one "should" get their hair permed, as it's always the person's right to or not to. But when the mother herself has her hair permed/relaxed, it seems pretty safe to say that her daughters hair would be as well, were she not mixed.
The only women I have ever seen who let their children walk around with unkempt hair were White European and White US American mothers, or, as Ty said, "bohemian" Black types. The former group likely because they don't know how to handle hair that is not straight and the latter likely because they are doing it on purpose. I saw a little 2 year old growing dreadlocks like his mama but that's about it.
Many parents do not cut toddler boys hair. My cousin has a son with wavy hair and she didn't cut it until he was 4. I doubt wanting to "show off" his texture had anything to do with it. Perhaps his hyperactivity and fear of the barber did. My daughter can barely tolerate me doing her hair so I don't even want to know what would happen if I tried to take her to a stylist.
Every Black mother that I know and have met is fixated on ensuring that no child's hair is out of place and they always look well groomed. It's not been my experience at all that they refuse to cut or style a child's hair simply because of its texture.
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Thu 29 May 2008 16:06 Post subject:
sagascend wrote:
Many parents do not cut toddler boys hair. My cousin has a son with wavy hair and she didn't cut it until he was 4. I doubt wanting to "show off" his texture had anything to do with it. Perhaps his hyperactivity and fear of the barber did.
But what's still unsettling is the fact that, from what I see, monoracially black boys of the same age tend to actually have their hair cut.
Many parents do not cut toddler boys hair. My cousin has a son with wavy hair and she didn't cut it until he was 4. I doubt wanting to "show off" his texture had anything to do with it. Perhaps his hyperactivity and fear of the barber did.
But what's still unsettling is the fact that, from what I see, monoracially black boys of the same tend to actually have their hair cut.
I don't see a difference, especially now that cornrows are back in style. When I was a kid all of my male cousins had hair almost as long as mine put into cornrows. I have NEVER liked long hair on men no matter the texture. If I had a son I would have his hair cut or faded and texture wouldn't matter whatsoever. I think men look better with short hair so that's my bias. From what I see most boys get the buzz cut unless Mama has time to groom it.
But a little boy with 3 inches of straight or wavy hair is going to look like he has longer hair than a little boy with 3 inches of coiled hair anyway.
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Thu 29 May 2008 16:19 Post subject:
sagascend wrote:
I don't see a difference, especially now that cornrows are back in style. When I was a kid all of my male cousins had hair almost as long as mine put into cornrows.
Cornrows generally don't showcase the texture of one's hair. That said, I tend to find that these mixed children's hair is left out in a way to showcase that texture... and yet still, many mixed people's hair cannot hold cornrows (mine can't)... which leave no real justification for letting it grow out like that.
As a pre-emptive measure, because I can hear anonymouse's footsteps headed this direction and I know what she's going to say, I can tell you that I have ways of finding out the reason behind many black mothers who keep their son's hair like that.
Dude - I'm a dude, dude!!
And I have no idea why some black women keep their children's hair wild. but I have witnessed the phenomena you describe and have noticed that the mothers are usually young and single, the type that names the child(ren) "cute" names (random apostrophes, alternate spellings, etc)
I don't see a difference, especially now that cornrows are back in style. When I was a kid all of my male cousins had hair almost as long as mine put into cornrows.
Cornrows generally don't showcase the texture of one's hair. That said, I tend to find that these mixed children's hair is left out in a way to showcase that texture... and yet still, many mixed people's hair cannot hold cornrows (mine can't)... which leave no real justification for letting it grow out like that.
Most can, it depends on the oiliness of the hair, not the texture. My hair is a bit oily-really oily in the warmer months and I can only keep them looking good for about 5days before they are coming loose (that was when my hair was longer) Drier hair can hold them well. But brades hold most hair types easily, Cornrows are braided right onto the head, which don't hold long for most hair types. But for the most part it depends on the skill of the braider.
Most can, it depends on the oiliness of the hair, not the texture.
That's true, although I think curliness also factors in. It is much easier to braid or cornrow hair that isn't straight.
And what is "mulatto hair" anyway? Is it any hair texture that people who call themselves mulattos have or is it something specific? Hair has basic properties that are shared across populations so I really don't understand what that means.
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 394 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Thu 29 May 2008 17:10 Post subject:
sagascend wrote:
And what is "mulatto hair" anyway? Is it any hair texture that people who call themselves mulattos have or is it something specific? Hair has basic properties that are shared across populations so I really don't understand what that means.
Playing stupid and engaging in semantics games when hearing a politically incorrect term is something that I expect from some people here, but not you, saga!
And what is "mulatto hair" anyway? Is it any hair texture that people who call themselves mulattos have or is it something specific? Hair has basic properties that are shared across populations so I really don't understand what that means.
Playing stupid and engaging in semantics games when hearing a politically incorrect term is something that I expect from some people here, but not you, saga!
I'm dead serious Richard and not playing stupid at all. If you mean the hair, regardless of texture, that mulattos have that is one thing. If you mean a certain type of hair texture or set of textures that is another. Before deducing that you mean I wanted clarification.
It's sort of like the good hair/bad hair talk. I'm questioning what is really meant because a colloquial phrase isn't precise and is a matter of perspective.
Many parents do not cut toddler boys hair. My cousin has a son with wavy hair and she didn't cut it until he was 4. I doubt wanting to "show off" his texture had anything to do with it. Perhaps his hyperactivity and fear of the barber did.
But what's still unsettling is the fact that, from what I see, monoracially black boys of the same age tend to actually have their hair cut.
Something I've been watching too is mixed & biracial women(no matter what they identify as) with various degrees of curly "good" hair who never get it cut or styled to keep that biracial-mulatto look: I could run a list off
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